"I raised my hand, he picked me, I went to the board," Mr. Figueroa recalled of the vice president's visit. Young Mr. Figueroa spelled "potato" correctly on the blackboard, only to have Vice President Quayle, holding a flash card with the word spelled incorrectly, encourage him to add an "e" at the end.
With that, Mr. Quayle, Mayor Douglas Palmer of Trenton and the three or four other adults in the room began clapping. Mr. Figueroa returned to his seat, embarrassed and confused.
"I kept thinking, 'How the hell did I spell potato wrong?'" he said.
"Frank Lampard described John Terry as ‘Mr Chelsea’. I’d go further. To me he is Mr England. He embodies the soul of English football. Not the bulldog spirit, the three lions or any of that nonsense. I mean the missed penalty and the tears. It’s so quintessentially English."
Sometimes I wonder if someone threw all of Irelands common sense into the back of a Hi-Ace and headed off to Italy to the World Cup in 1990, and all the common sense got stolen somewhere outside Genoa.
An Australian satirical "Colbert Report"-style programme doorsteps Peter Jensen on why it makes sense to keep obeying the bits of Leviticus which are anti-gay, but not the bits which are anti-dwarf, cheeky teenager or indeed speccy people like Jensen himsef.
In West Tyrone, the SDLP managed to turn 1.02 Quotas into no seats. If West Tyrone is the SDLP's Stalingrad, all I can say is that it's as well they weren't involved in the Second World War, or the Wehrmacht would have been washing their boots in the Pacific.
And they say Germans have no sense of humour... a bunch of Germans make a bizarre spoof rap video about... er... cooking vegetable stew. Absolute genius! And, judging from my housemate's reaction, you don't need to speak German to enjoy it either.
BELFAST (AP): Political leaders from a powerful coalition of countries have warned Northern Ireland’s political parties that the St. Andrew’s Agreement, announced last week, is their last hope of avoiding military action by the international community.
“The stability of Western Europe is a vital prerequisite for the economic development of the People’s Republic of China”, said Chinese Foreign Minister Li Zhaoxing on a visit to London yesterday to present a series of ultimata to British Prime Minister Tony Blair.
“We cannot tolerate the continued presence of a failed state in such a critical and unstable part of the world.
“The continuing suffering of the people of Northern Ireland is an affront to all civilised nations”, continued Mr. Li, “Be in no doubt of the resolve of the Chinese people to bring an end to Northern Ireland’s agony, by force if necessary.”
Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov, following a lengthy phone call to Irish counterpart Dermot Ahern, warned that Russia too would consider joining a ‘Coalition of the Willing’.
“Russia is still committed to finding a peaceful solution to the Northern Ireland problem, if that is possible”, said the smooth diplomat on Russian TV this morning, “However, the international community’s patience with Britain and Ireland’s continued failure is wearing thin. The use of force would be a last resort, but one that we dare not rule out.”
Meanwhile, Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has angrily rejected suggestions that the Coalition of the Willing is simply a front for a War on Christianity.
“Many important Christian countries such as Moldova, Zambia and the Federated States of Micronesia are part of our coalition”, said the bearded Imam before entering the Emam Khomeini Mosque in Qom for morning prayer, “This isn’t about Christians and Muslims. It’s about right and wrong.
“Besides, don’t you think we have enough trouble in the Islamic World at the moment without those nutcases joining us?”
President Bush was not available for comment. A Whitehouse spokesman said his new SpongeBob SquarePants jigsaw was taking longer than expected to complete.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all. H. L. Mencken
This just has to be the basis for a manga film! How about this:
Scientists at Sapporo Technical University create a micro-universe in which, unbeknownst to them, magical powers actually work and evolution is speeded up to zillions of times its rate on Earth. Within a few months they surpass human technology levels and become aware of us, and are insanely jealous of the fact that they are our 'children'.
Coincidentally, Taka Yoshimatsu, a troubled hikikomori teen from Fukuoka begins to have disturbing dreams of demonic possession, at the same time as his latent psychic powers, the result of secret CIA experiments on Japanese children in the last years of the Cold War, wake up. Taka has an argument with his best friend in school and, inadvertenly, kills him with a psychic blast. Taka withdraws from the world even more and considers taking his own life.
However, energy beings, which most humans perceive as demons, cross the threshold from the pocket universe into ours and rampage across Japan. In an agony of rage/ecstacy, Taka discovers the truth about his powers and the state of the universe and realises that only he can save the human race from total destruction. Leaping on the bullet train to Tokyo, Taka confronts the leader of the evil techno demons inside the Budokan, but confronted by the raw power of the demon/aliens, he loses his ID and joins them in rampaging over Earth in an orgy of destruction.
Pretty cool, eh? I think it would be a good opera plot, as well as a manga film plot. Maybe I could get the real Takashi Yoshimatsu to write the score?
How many neocons does it take to change a light bulb?
First, Ann Coulter notices how the radical left moonbats broke the light bulb during one of their protests, Peter Schweizer publishes documents showing Michael Moore holds stock in Sylvania and Phillips, and Shaun Hannity puts ATM security cameras showing the bulb was broken by a muslim wearing a T-shirt showing Che Guevara and Osama bin Laden smoking a bone together, with the motto "FUGB". Then President Bush declares light bulb breakers "vicious evildoers" taught by Islamofascists to destroy the Enlightenment, and orders Homeland Security to get to the bottom of the story. NSA spies on a muslim emailing a picture of the Statue of Liberty to his cousin in Karachi, and immediately raises the threat warning color to red, predicting an imminent attack on the lightbulbs in the torch of the statue. This of course causes ten school groups to cancel trips to the Statue of Liberty, which ticks off the kids that they have to stay at school doing fractions instead, and they organize a national grassroots movement to change lightbulbs...</b>/
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