the little bird
that whistled shrill
from the nib of
its yellow bill:

a note let go
o’er Belfast Lough -
a blackbird from
a yellow whin

A free translation from the 9th Century Irish by Ciarán Carson

Conor Murphy has announced that his proposed public transport system for Belfast is viable, as long as it involves spending £147M to run buses in places where buses already run anyway.

Buses are slow - to get to Stormont by 9.50 a.m., I have to leave home in Fortwilliam by 8.30 a.m. Leave home at 8.30 a.m. by car, and even at that busiest of all periods, I get to Stormont by 8.55 a.m. This is for a journey of around 8 miles or 13 km. Cycling is quicker, walking not much slower (although a sight more tiring!!!). Buses will not attract significant numbers out of their cars to stand around a cold bus stop waiting for a slow bus where basic discourtesy by teenagers (like blaring music from your mobile phone without using earphones) is ignored by the authorities.

The lack of ambition in this document is startling. The West Belfast scheme is only aimed at carrying 632 passengers in the peak morning hour, which I would guess is substantially less than existing bus and black taxi services carry at peak times on the Lower Falls at present. A fair chunk of the predicted demand in the document is from Titanic Quarter, which may or may not do so. Who knows? It's a long way off.

Huge traffic problems in North Belfast (the M2 at Fortwilliam is the busiest stretch of road in the country; Sandyknowes and the A2 at Greenisland probably Greater Belfast's worst bottlenecks) and South Belfast (the hell of rush-hour Carryduff, the stop-start Lisburn Road) are ignored. Why? Finance Minister Peter Robinson's East Belfast and "the West" so beloved of the Shinners take priority.

As for the idea that Belfast is too small/insufficiently dense for trams, this is just bunk. Many French, Belgian and especially German cities manage to support trams despite being much smaller than Belfast. Mulhouse, with a metropolitan population of 271k has introduced a tram network in the past two years and is expanding it. Belfast, with a metropolitan population of 580k can’t? I don’t think so.

I'd love to do a proper feasibility study - one looking at long term costs and benefits and not designed to say buses are great from the start - looking at a two line tram system: one line running from a Mallusk Park and Ride, down the Antrim Road, through Royal Avenue, Bedford Street and Botanic and then up the Ormeau Road to a Park and Ride beyond Carryduff; one running from a Sprucefield Park and Ride via Lisburn Station, the Falls Corridor, Castle Street, High Street and the Queen's Bridge and then up the Newtownards Road either to a Park and Ride beyond Dundonald or all the way to Newtownards. High density development could even be funnelled along the corridors, which already cover some of Belfast's highest density areas, and other mature suburbs left in peace.

A big investment, sure, but potentially producing major benefits and capable of attracting people to public transport. Oh, and heat the bloody stations. Any discussion of public transport that ignores how cold bus stops are at 7.45 a.m. on a winter morning is clearly led by people who never use buses.

Is the idea of two blokes having sex in a public lavatory so repugnant to you that you would rather be caught short? Queen's University thinks so. Why does heterosexual dogging and al fresco sex cause less panic? And is this the only public place in Northern Ireland that doesn't already have CCTV?

Buck Alec has a wikipedia entry. Class or what?!?!?!?!?

For those not in the know, Buck Alec was a street thug, loyalist gangster in the 1920s, low life, criminal who used to walk about the place with his pet lions (no messing) and is something of a North Belfast legend.

If you grew up in North Belfast, or at least if you grew up in Catholic bits of North Belfast, you would be told to come in when it was your bedtime, or "Buck Alec will get you"!

Just come back from a choir dinner at Corr's Corner and it has just stopped snowing. There is a good inch and a half down here in Fortwilliam, more than that in Glengormley. The M2 hill section was bumper to bumper both ways looking down from the Bellevue Bridge, but the Antrim Road was usable. Neither road was gritted.

Drive safe tonight!

It seems like every amateur photographer in Belfast is taking a picture of the Big Wheel at the City Hall. And why not? It looks great and is a superb focal point for the city centre. Anyway, here's my effort, which predates the Christmas decorations being put up.

Who says estate agents have no sense of humour...

(Sorry, won't make sense to people who don't know Belfast.)

The news that Aer Lingus are to open four, later eight, new routes from Belfast has caused much excitement. But there are only two new routes among these eight. The others are a fairly transparent attempt to give Easyjet one on the chin.

The return of a Belfast International to Heathrow route will be a boon for those wanting to get to Heathrow while avoiding metropolitan Belfast. But apart from that, Amsterdam is a very long established Easyjet route. Geneva is a long established winter Easyjet route. Barcelona is a long established Jet2 route which Easyjet is also due to muscle in on in November. Rome is an existing Easyjet route. Malaga is an existing Easyjet route. Faro is an… er… existing Easyjet route, and hardly of huge strategic importance. Budapest is, amazingly, really new. I’m surprised no-one has cottoned on to the potential of a direct Belfast-Vilnius fight given the size of the Lithuanian community these days.

All in all, is this a boon for the Belfast traveller or Aer Lingus trying to go head to head with Easyjet in one of its most profitable hubs? Sure we’ll all benefit from the price war this winter, but is there anything here that looks sustainable in the long run? Other than the Budapest and Heathrow routes, and possibly additional capacity on the busy Amsterdam route, I don’t see it.

Aer Lingus are sort of hinting that maybe they'll start a transatlantic route from Belfast some day. Sure, whatever. By the time they get there the Canadian cheapies like Zoom might have that market sewn up anyway.

Robert Boyd, aka Buho the Elf has got two years for robbery at Belfast Crown Court. Enthusiastic readers of Sammy Morse will remember that Boyd was arrested for stealing lingerie and suspender belts at oh-so-feminine-not-a-sex-shop-honestly Orchid on Belfast's Lisburn Road. Boyd's defence was that he got confused between real life and his character in theShadowrun cyber-fantasy role playing game, Buho the Elf.

Two years seems a bit stiff for a first offence, even if a knife was involved, as the guy obviously has 'issues'. I suspect the beak noted the public notoriety of the case, especially among roleplayers and sundry geeks, and decided to make himself look a bit hard.

I don't envy this bloke when he gets to Maghaberry. He will be the laughing stock of the jail.

One for all you roleplayers. This sort of thing could only happen in Belfast.

A man accused of a stealing underwear from a shop in a knifepoint raid believed he was a female elf at the time, Belfast Crown Court has heard.

[...]

He told the court he had been involved in a role-playing game at the time, and his character was an elf named Beho.

He told defence counsel Anthony Cinnamond that within his small social circle he had been participating in a game known as Shadowrun.

The game was set in the future and the assumed characters were criminals, he said.

He told the court his character was a shaman, or magical elf, who carried a small Japanese sword as a weapon.

[...]

He is accused of stealing two sets of bras, knickers, suspender belts and stockings from the shop on Lisburn Road on 14 December, 2005.

The case continues.

This certainly brightened up my day. The BBC has more.

Ohmigod, it's the West Belfast Rap.

Restoration Village the property pr0n programme you love to hate is coming to Northern Ireland.

Maybe a more appropriate programme given the number of racist attacks in South Belfast might be Restoration: The Village.

We move three immigrant families into recently renovated houses off the Donegall Road. The Jaruselskis from Poland move into Eureka Drive, the Nkosis from Zimbabwe move into Kitchener Street and the Shuklas from the Punjab move into Coolfin Street. Who will be the last to get burned out by the UDA? (And it should all fit into a forty minute slot before the ten o’clock news.)

The BBC is running a poll on the UK's favourite unsung landmarks, and of the eight entries, Belfast's Samson and Goliath ship cranes are languishing in fifth place.

Do your civic duty - freep the poll!!!